


replace

by ordanary



Series: PFF Bingo [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Caffeine Withdrawal, Curtain Fic, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, not in a weird way though dw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 05:57:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16131080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ordanary/pseuds/ordanary
Summary: The coffee machine stops working and both Dan and Phil are getting desperate, though each for very different things.





	replace

**Author's Note:**

> Hello !! This was written for the ‘curtainfic’ square on my pff bingo card, so I hope you enjoy !! <3 
> 
> Side note, this fic is dedicated to my lovely friend, Claire (@philliebf on tumblr and Ao3), because she always manages to motivate me whenever I’m feeling self conscious about my works <3 ily Claire
> 
> TRIGGER WARNINGS: implied sexual content at the end

It has been nearly three weeks, Phil thinks, and no, the coffee machine still has yet to be fixed. It’s the same cheap appliance he and his boyfriend received from the former’s mum upon moving into their first flat together over a month ago, so Phil probably should’ve known it wouldn’t be any good. He supposes it was meant to be a housewarming gift, but the only thing it’s warmed so far is the countertop it’s sat upon as it wastes electricity and time doing absolutely nothing. Still, the gesture was there. 

The problem is, though, that because of Kath’s kind hearted gesture towards the two boys, Phil had given his old machine away to his older brother, who’d been complaining about his being broken. This is probably karma, now that he thinks about it. 

He really hasn’t been able to have a decent cup of coffee in his own home for weeks, and it’s slowly killing him. He doesn’t have enough money in his bank account to go buy Starbucks every morning, and he’s pretty sure that asking Martyn for their old coffee machine back would be a bit too much to ask. And yes, they could theoretically just go out and buy a new one, but how much would that cost? Surely more than either Dan or Phil have lying around in their pockets. 

So he’s quickly beginning to accept his fate as a constantly tired and caffeine deprived twenty four year old with ever present bags under his eyes, because as much as he needs coffee, he isn’t even sure if the liquid that the machine is producing could even be considered coffee anymore. It’s more like a slightly viscous brown sludge, and he sure as hell isn't gonna he caught drinking that if he can help it.

Dan, who has always been lucky enough to be more of a hot cocoa kind of guy, doesn’t really seem to express much concern for Phil’s constant complaining and whining about needing proper coffee, but he still swings by the closest café whenever he can to bring his boyfriend what he needs, because if he can’t sympathize he can at least lend aid to the exhausted tragedy that is his Philly. 

“I think I’m gonna do it,” says Phil with a hint of desperation in his tone as they sit side by side on the lounge sofa reading their respective nonsensical Wikipedia articles one afternoon. 

Dan lifts his eyes from his laptop screen, raising his brows at Phil’s strange statement. “Do what?” 

Phil pushes his own laptop off of his lap with a huff, letting it land on the cushion beside him as he stands to his feet to face Dan. “I’m going to make the sludge coffee. I have to.”

The latter offers him his most sympathetic eyes, frowning. “Headache?” He asks quietly. 

Nodding, Phil shifts on his feet. “I need coffee and to stop looking at my screen or else my head might explode,” he explains. 

“You could just take an Advil and go have a nap with me, you know.”

“Yeah, maybe later, but even the sludge is sounding good right now, so I think I’ll try that first.”

Dan winces but nods anyway. “Okay, have fun, I guess.”

Phil ends up swallowing one mouthful of the ‘coffee’ before dumping the rest down the kitchen sink and giving in to Dan’s previous offer, gratefully accepting the Advil and glass of cold water when it’s handed to him before they both settle down into the bed together. 

Needless to say, neither of them bother to touch their dysfunctional coffee machine over the next few days. 

—

It’s when Dan, himself, is feeling a bit overtired one morning and already running late for work that he starts to really miss the presence of a working coffee machine in their home. 

When he vocalizes this to Phil, the latter merely scoffs and says; “now you know how I’ve felt.”

Things run pretty smoothly in terms of just having moved into a house together for the next week or so, and the only hiccup or subject of argument so far is the broken machine and the tiring effects it’s having on both Dan and Phil. But for the most part, everything’s fine. 

It’s Saturday morning when Dan wraps his arms around Phil from behind as the older man is busying himself with trying to figure out why on earth his coffee is looking more like watery mud than liquid.

He squeezes him tight around the middle and presses a wet kiss to the back of Phil’s neck, his lips lingering there for a while longer as he’s paid practically no attention in return. He’d never admit it out loud, but he’s actually growing a bit jealous of the coffee machine for having Phils attention rather than Dan. 

He rubs his hands over Phil’s sides, burying his nose in the warm of his neck and breathing hot air onto his skin. 

“Why are you paying more attention to the coffee machine than me?” Dan whines, letting the weaker side of himself win over the stronger side. 

Phil hums in response, still poking and prodding at the inside of the very broken looking machine. “Do you remember dropping it at all?” He asks. 

Dan furrows his eyebrows in frustration. “No, did you? Does it matter? ‘Cause if not then I can think of like, ten other things you could be focusing on right now, and I can assure you they’re all a lot more fun than this.”

Frowning, Phil turns over the filter bit in his hands before turning to Dan, surprising the younger man who lets out a startled squeak at the sudden movement. 

“I really do love you, Dan, but I can’t have sex with you right now because I’ll be thinking about my broken coffee machine the whole time and I might actually start crying before I climax,” he warns, a smile hidden behind the concentration on his face. 

Dan sighs. “Fine,” he says. “But you owe me.”

“Whatever you say.”

And not ten minutes later, Phil’s crying out in frustration as he slaps the side of the machine with muted force, startling Dan from where he’d been collapsed in boredom over the dining room table. 

He’s given up, completely run out of any more fucks to give about this stupid, broken coffee machine and it’s terrible tasting coffee. It can’t be fixed, and Phil honestly can’t bring himself to care anymore. 

“That’s it!” He exclaims with a definite finality to his tone. “Come on, we're going out and buying a new fucking coffee machine!”

Dan scoffs, leaning his chin against his closed fist and raising his eyebrows. “I thought we’re broke.”

Phil shakes his head, clearly unfazed by the younger man’s comment. “Nope. We can go back to being broke after I have coffee again, but for now we’re the richest people in Manchester.”

Dan sighs but nods anyway. 

In less than five minutes they’re both out the door and descending the many flights of stairs that lead down to the building’s lobby, carrying with them only Phil’s wallet and the hope that they’ll be able to find a new coffee machine that won’t cost them an arm and a leg. Because as much as Phil really would love to be the richest man in Manchester, he knows the reality is that he’s far from it. 

They hail a cab quickly and have the kind man in front take them to some local appliance store that Dan’s apparently been told is reliable. As much as Phil would love to be able to pay the taxi driver a large tip for delivering him to his potential caffeine fix, he knows he’s gonna need all the money he can get, so he sticks to the norm instead. 

“Where am I going?” Dan asks as he pushes the cart at a slow pace down one of the main aisles of the tiny store. 

Phil scans the above head signs quickly for directions, finding ‘kitchen appliances’ closer to the back of the store where he points excitedly, causing an amused giggle to erupt from Dan’s throat. 

As they walk down the confusingly labelled aisles, Dan pushing their red and white shopping cart while Phil walks at his side, the two bump shoulders a few times out of habit. While Dan was still in college a year back, he’d often wait until the very last minute to ask Phil to go grocery shopping with him, and as things became more serious between the two, they’d managed to find little ways to express their constant need to show affection for each other without fearing the judgement of strangers. 

Even though they’re both out and proud for the most part by this point, the actions are still too ingrained in their heads to forget anytime soon. 

“There they are,” Dan says as they enter the kitchen appliances section, pointing to the rows and rows of what he knows his boyfriend is looking for, ranging from run of the mill coffee machines to high end multi tasking machines meant for people with more money to spend on their lattes than both Dan and Phil have, combined. 

As expected, Phil speed walks to the shelves, eyes instantly dancing over every single large box and skimming over the informative text on the front. He’s silent for a few long moments as Dan stands there, leaning against the shopping cart and sighing at the scene before him. 

“What about this one?” Asks Phil as he points to one of the boxes. “It’s cheap and it looks functional.”

Dan scrunches up his nose, shaking his head. “Phil, it’s white, and what colour are literally all of our other kitchen appliances?”

Phil frowns. “Black.”

“Right. Try finding it in another colour, maybe?”

He goes back to skimming over descriptions, pausing as he sees one that just might suit both of their standards. “This one has an overnight mode, a cleanable filter, and costs less than half of our budget.”

Dan nods his head in approval, watching Phil pull that box from the shelf and place it in their cart. Theoretically, the cart is pretty unnecessary, but the younger of the two seems to have a weird thing for pushing one whenever they go shopping, so Phil doesn’t say anything. 

As they’re standing in line behind some tired looking mother with two young kids running wild around the till, Dan nudges Phil’s side, effectively getting his attention as the latter looks curiously in his direction. 

“You should buy me chocolate for all I’ve had to put up with over the past few weeks,” he says with round eyes manipulating Phil to the best of their ability. Really, though, he deserves at least ten candy bars after having witnessed such a grumpy and irritable version of his boyfriend lately. 

He can tell Phil’s melted when his eyes soften tenfold, a smile dancing on his lips as he easily gives into Dan. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

Dan grins and grabs a KitKat from off the shelf beside the checkout, placing it on the counter next to their new coffee machine before Phil pulls out his wallet and pays. 

They leave the store soon after, giant box squished between them as they ride home in another taxi, this time Phil managing to get through the recruit home without his leg bouncing nervously. He knows good coffee will be in reach once they climb the stairs up to their apartment, so he’s just not all that worried. Excited, but definitely not on edge. 

Dan pushes open the door once he’s unlocked it, Phil trailing behind him with the box holding their new coffee machine in his arms. Dan’s got his KitKat buried deep in his front pocket, so he pulls it out and shoves it into the fridge before the heat of his thigh causes the chocolate to melt. 

Once Phil’s done placing the box on the kitchen counter beside the old one, Dan is quick to press his front against his chest, backing him up against the white cabinets as his hands roam over the latter’s shoulders and back. 

And then he’s leaning up and kissing his boyfriend with fervour, arms snaking up to rest around Phil’s neck as the aformentioned’s pale hands land themselves tangled in Dan’s straightened, brown hair. 

Dan’s quite pleased with how events are turning out, the way Phil doesn’t seem to be holding back or tensing up anymore, the way he’s kissing him with all he’s got and letting his fingers gently massage against his scalp in a way that’s making Dan want to purr. 

He’s so lost in the feeling of Phil pressed against him that he almost doesn’t notice when his hands move from the former’s hair to run down his sides, but he does, and he’d be frowning were it not for Phil’s lips pressed to his and his tongue exploring the inside of his mouth. 

Phil flips them over so that it’s now Dan pressed against the cabinets, quickly lifting him up by the backs of his thighs and gently dropping his bum on the counter, settling between his legs. He pulls away from the kiss only to reattach his lips to the curve of Dan’s neck, sucking what are sure to soon be bruises on the slight tan of his skin. Dan moans at the feeling and hungrily leans into the touch, his fingers digging into the flesh of Phil’s clothed shoulders. 

And then Phil’s pulling away, pressing a painfully quick kiss to Dan forehead before moving from between his legs to the left. The latter watches in confusion as his boyfriend pulls a pair of scissors from the utility drawer, bringing them over to the counter space beside Dan where he uses them to cut open the tape holding the box together. 

“Uh, hello?” Dan asks impatiently, gesturing desperately at himself as Phil continues to pull out their new coffee machine that Dan couldn’t give less fucks about. “I thought this was going somewhere,” he pouts. 

Phil smirks, chuckling a bit as he reads the simple directions of the little booklet the machine comes with and shakes his head in amusement. ”It is, but I want coffee first,” he explains easily, glancing over to see the lines gracing his boyfriend’s forehead deepen. 

“You suck,” Dan remarks jokingly, though he’s still no less sex deprived than he’d been yesterday. 

“I’ll suck once I get my caffeine fix, if you think you can wait?” He proposes, still busy figuring out the simple machine before plugging it in with an “aha!”.

Suddenly Dan’s not complaining anymore as he hops off the counter excitedly and pulls open the fridge door, retrieving his no longer melting KitKat before returning to his previous place. “I can wait,” he happily agrees, ripping open the the red packaging with an excited smile. 

And twenty minutes after Phil’s done with his coffee, Dan’s really happy he waited and so, so thankful for that damn coffee machine.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading !! Maybe leave a like and reblog on my tumblr (@ordanary) ?? As always, kudos and comments are super appreciated and I hope you have a lovely day <3


End file.
